There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
