idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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