wakey wakey hands off snakey
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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