remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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