Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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