Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
