After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
