Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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