I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
