When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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