We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
