well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i want to swaddle you in tequila
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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