in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
