im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
