I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we're so committed to being not committed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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