call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
