I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
