wat bout pragnant strippers??
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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