Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
