Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
