sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
