If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
