I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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