I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
