No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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