Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
