Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
