I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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