I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
