He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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