Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
