Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
