i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
