trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
