He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize