Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize