I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
