What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
