It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
