butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
