piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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