we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
