Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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