R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
