love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This is my gift to your gina
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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