what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
