when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
