whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
