She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize