dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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