it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
