Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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