Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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