Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
