No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
