drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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