After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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