Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
