he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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