I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
