do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
