We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm really busy with my period
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