yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
