So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
