How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
